simple things

i heart my handheld mixer

it was the first appliance i actually purchased on my own about a year and a half ago - my previous appliances (toaster, microwave, kettle, etc.) were either purchased for me, hand me downs or something of the like... but not this sunbeam mixmaster hand mixer model 2487-33... no siree, this baby's all mine

today it helped me bake two delicious desserts - no questions asked

one recipe - yummy chocolate layered brownies, can be found here ... the other, well that one will remain in the vault for a little while longer - a childhood favourite from when i visited the combaluzier's, 'dirt' is so good, it hurts

it's the simple things that make me smile today - like the sunbeam 2487-33

*post dedicated to my favourite Constant Baker

revelations, resurrections and a little self indulgence

today i truly took new steps
call it the path to self-realization or whatever you wish, but...

"getting back to me," words spoken with precision by others, have taken on a personal meaning

this evening i started very simply, with a little self indulgence:

• i purchased my feel good movie of the year - 'the holiday' for those who are interested... i've watched it three times in the last three months, which might not sound like a lot but for a girl who doesn't usually get much replay value out of movies - watch'em, talk about'em and for the most part leave'em - it's a big deal
• i also picked up the latest issue of new york magazine because really, why not?
• while in indigo i also purchased a trashy chic-lit novel, again, why not? don't get me wrong, i love reading 'real' literature - books i can really sink my teeth into but i've got to admit that i also really love a good puff piece every once in awhile
• took the long way home and also picked up my favourite beverage from starbucks - non-fat vanilla creme, no whipped cream - it's delicious... you know the feeling you get lying in a warm bath? i liken the hot drink to what this feeling would taste like if you could drink it... strange but true

... and so after all of my self indulgent behaviour, i sit here - soft music in the background, comfy clothes draped over me and reflective thoughts passing through my mind

simplicity...
thank goodness...

thank
u

good things...

... when you're riding on the subway between broadview and castle frank and the song that begins playing on your ipod is india.arie's "headed in the right direction"

... walking in the rain and not caring that you are soaked all the way through and look like a drowned rat to all those on the subway

... second interviews - at least you know you're doing something right

... winning your rec. league basketball game - three baskets should make me the mvp... HA!

... getting the new marie claire in the mail

... walking home from basketball and literally singing down the street to your feel good song of the day not caring who might hear you - hard to believe but true story

...all these things add up to one thing... it's been a good day

small world

currently listening to...

holly brook "all will be forgotten"

----

so i'm finished... now what?

i feel like there should be some monumental, earth shattering... "thing"

i don't know, call it a celebration, call it mourning - 20 years of schooling is complete and i now have two degrees under my belt... phew!

so many lessons learned - academically, emotionally, mentally... you get the picture

i'd be lying if i said i wasn't terrified at this very moment

the last six months have been overwhelming - academically, emotionally, mentally... see a pattern here?

i feel as though i'm looking for answers to impossible questions...

do you ever feel like the world is this huge thing that's going to swallow you up whole?

one day i think i have it figured out and the next, everything is a topsy turvy mess and i don't know which way is up

can only put trust and faith in what lies ahead and know that things do have a way of working themselves out for the best...

i just wish the stars wouldn't take so long to align and that i could at least see a small light at the end of the tunnel that would show me there's life out there... some semblance of what the future might hold

too deep?

perhaps... but the world is a vast place, until you turn around and see hundreds of faces with the same exasperated "what am i doing here?" look... it's then that you realize...

we're all in the same boat